I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize