do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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