Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
