even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
