that's an acceptable place to lick
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
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she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
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I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Randomize