I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
