we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Its about making memories worth repressing
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
