I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
