I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
