You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
