So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
