Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We had to coat check the pizza.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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