he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
