He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
