I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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