It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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