Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
