You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Success! We fucked roommates!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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