Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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