There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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