You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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