I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
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So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
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There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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