my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
