But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
your parents love me but you hate me
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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