I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
