kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
