I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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