I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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