I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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