so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
