I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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