IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
