i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
