You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
