We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
