time to smoke my breakfast
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
