Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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