So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize