lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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