And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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