The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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