but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
