So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Im part way to drunk.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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