Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
