Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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