You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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