I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
