Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
