i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
