Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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