looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
