just tell him i said nine months
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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