i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
