You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
it was like eating out sand paper
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Sorry my hands just texted you
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
