i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
vagina is talking i cant
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
